


Hallowed

by SignificantlySimon



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ferdinand character study, Hubert "gay panic" von Vestra, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Weddings, brief torture mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23937901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SignificantlySimon/pseuds/SignificantlySimon
Summary: Ferdinand sits alone in the gardens at his own table, rather enjoying the book he's borrowed from the library. His hair has gotten long, just barely brushing past his shoulders. He looks peaceful as he basks in the mid-afternoon sun. Hubert notices the way he adjusts in his seat. He crosses his legs at the thigh, just above the knee and left over right. He takes a bite from an apple and doesn't take his eyes off of the pages in front of him.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & Hubert von Vestra, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 8
Kudos: 178





	Hallowed

**Author's Note:**

> Back on my character study bullshit! I had a bunch of small Ferdibert snippets from Hubert's point of view about Ferdinand and decided to combine them all into one 18 page document so some of them might not flow together as I'd hoped. Also, I realized that I was posting this on Ferdinand's birthday so they get a happy ending.

The first time it happens it is a mistake, a misstep in morality fatally combined with a moment of extreme weakness.

In the middle of the night, Hubert had just returned to the monastery and stumbled upon a rather unsettling noise seeping from the training grounds. A familiar clang of metal on metal laced with an unfamiliar shriek led him to turn his tired body from the dormitories and towards the sounds. On any other night, he would have ignored it. He would have thought it was Felix stumbling his way through exhaustion and producing nothing save for a pile of broken training swords, however, this voice he heard had something else attached to it, something purely animalistic.

He promises himself nothing more than a small peek through the crack in the door, something to satisfy his curiosity, and then he would leave for his room but when he looks in, what he sees piques his interest more.

Ferdinand von Aegir stands in the center of the room. The oil lamps flicker low and bathed the room in a strange, eerie glow. He clutched a broken iron lance and stood above a rather shattered training dummy.

Hubert swears it was a moment of faltering will but he felt his feet carry him into the room without protest. Ferdinand heard the door open but didn't turn. He was far too focused in his exhausted haze on the broken lance in his fists

"The fuck do you want?" He spits, a diatribe that barely scathes a seasoned assassin. He stays still as he can despite the obvious trembling drumming through his body from overexertion.

Hubert glides from his place in the shadows and into the low light of the lanterns. "A nobleman like you shouldn't use such foul language, von Aegir."

At the sound of Hubert's voice, Ferdinand turns to face him. He looks absolutely ragged. Dark circles stain his under eyes and his short auburn hair is an absolute spectacle. Hubert almost feels sorry for him.

"Don't you have a lecture tomorrow?" Hubert asks him. He's talking down to him, trying to get his adversary to break. 

"I am not going. Too many things to do elsewhere," he states. He turns back around and attempts to replace the crippled dummy but foregoes it and turns to walk out of the training grounds.

As he walks past him, Hubert catches him by the wrist and holds him there. It's all foolish, truthfully. Nothing more than a game to win and Hubert will win whatever the cost.

"Let me go, " Ferdinand growls.

Instead, Hubert twists his arm painfully, sends him to his knees, and bends him over. He takes his free hand and ever so gently lifts his chin to look him in the eyes. 

"Patience is a virtue, dear Ferdinand."

Hubert leans in and kisses him hard on the lips. It quickly turns into a battle of pure teeth and tongue, an assault that Hubert somehow feels he's losing and doesn't know why. Hubert's blood begins to boil when he hears a whimper that was caught in the back of Ferdinand's throat. He has lost his patience with this boy.

He abruptly stands and walks away, leaving Ferdinand a mess on the dirt floor of the training grounds without another word. He returns to his bedroom and sleeps rather peacefully through the night. The next morning he sees Ferdinand leave for the lecture he swore he was going to skip. They bicker as if nothing ever happened. Nothing would ever come of it regardless.

At the end of the month, Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg declares war on the Church of Seiros.

*

Years pass before it happens again. It is late spring in the Imperial year 1183. It is the middle of a war but the Imperial army has the high ground. They control Gareg Mach, the center of the soon-to-be unified nation, and this proves to be an extremely useful vantage point.

Ferdinand sits alone in the gardens at his own table, rather enjoying the book he's borrowed from the library. His hair has gotten long, just barely brushing past his shoulders. He looks peaceful as he basks in the mid-afternoon sun. Hubert notices the way he adjusts in his seat. He crosses his legs at the thigh, just above the knee and left over right. He takes a bite from an apple and doesn't take his eyes off of the pages in front of him.

He debates on ruining this peace and quiet but goes to walk by instead. There are better ways to spend a few free hours than pestering Ferdinand as he did during their school days. He's grown since then. They both have.

As Hubert attempts to simply walk past, Ferdinand hears his footsteps, looks up, and has the temerity to smile at him. Hubert stifles a scoff but waves back nonetheless. He respects the man's station as Prime Minister and not just out of necessity either. Ferdinand is simply good at his work, better than anyone expected in fact. He is thorough, kind, and compassionate. He listens to concerns and takes them into account. Ferdinand von Aegir is perhaps the best mediator Hubert has ever seen. Everyone has seen the prime minister insert himself into the middle of arguments and win by the grace of some higher power. No one has figured out just how he does it either.

So Hubert walks past and settles in his bedroom for an hour or two of quiet and a cup or three of coffee. When Ferdinand comes to him with a question, he opens his door for him and welcomes him inside. He listens to his concern about something or other and replies with the best answer he can. 

Ferdinand thanks him and goes to take his exit but he hesitates at the door. Hubert notices this and turns towards him.

"Think of something else?" Hubert asks him.

Ferdinand chuckles somewhat nervously as he replies. "Oh no," he says. "It is nothing."

But Hubert notices the way his ever-present, reverent smile falters when he glances at the door handle.

"You're sure it's nothing?"

Ferdinand suddenly snaps out of whatever thought he was in previously and leaves Hubert somewhat curious as to what it is. "Positive. I will see you in an hour."

Hubert could dwell on the multitude of issues Ferdinand handled on a daily basis but decided such a task would be fruitless. He finished his coffee and set the cup aside. He straightened himself and left for the meeting. It isn’t a particularly bad meeting by any means, just grueling and filled with numbers and budgets that Hubert can’t bring himself to properly focus on.

And neither can Ferdinand.

He shifts in his seat too often, far too often. He drums the pads of his fingers on the table in front of him as the professor speaks of things that seem to go in one ear and out of the other. Any noise that is out of the ordinary, Ferdinand turns his head to see where it came from and just what made it. No one else aside from Hubert seems to notice.

Hubert isn’t shocked that when the meeting is adjourned it is that Ferdinand leaves first. Hubert though takes his time collecting his things and chatting absentmindedly with Lady Edelgard.

“Have you noticed something different about Ferdinand?” She asks him.

“No,” he replies. “I haven’t asked.”

“Maybe you should,” she suggests. “You two have gotten closer in the past few years. Maybe he’ll talk to you.”

“Lady Edelgard, I hardly see why he would ever speak to me about something not related to our-”

“Just try, Hubert. Seeing Ferdinand so unsettled is rather-” She pauses, collects her thoughts for a moment and thinks far too carefully about how to continue her statement. “Unsettling.”

Hubert debates on protesting further but foregoes it. “Fine,” he agrees. “But know that I’ll only do so because you made me.”

She laughs and hits him lightly on the arm. He musters a small smile himself. He feels as if she knows something that he doesn’t and this wouldn’t be the first time she’s tried to set him up with a lover. So he agrees to humor her as he always does.

“What are your plans for tonight?” He asks her.

“I’m hoping for a glass of wine and a full night’s sleep. But you know how that always ends for me.”

They walk out of the war room together, side by side. Hubert always feels content when she is here, his friend since childhood. Yes, Hubert became her retainer because it was what he was supposed to do but he didn’t mind it one bit. They know absolutely everything about each other from failed one night stands to favorite foods and absolutely everything in between. Edelgard to him, is family by heart and in some odd way, the sister he never had and never knew he needed. 

“Either half a bottle through and crying on my floor about a stray kitten or being woken up in the middle of the night by a panicked guard because of some bandits,” Hubert teases.

“Hey!” She protests. “That kitten was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You say that about all of them.”

“They’re all adorable, Hubert.”

He sighs. “If you say so.”

They continue like this until they make it to the dormitories and part ways into their separate rooms. Hubert places his things and debates on simply heading to bed and ignoring Lady Edelgard’s suggestion but it's hardly late yet. Against his wishes, he exits his own room, turns right and walks down two doors. He knocks and is met almost immediately with Ferdinand's voice telling him to enter.

When Hubert does, he realizes Ferdinand is lying flat on his back with only a blanket covering him from the waist down. For some reason, his breath hitches at the sight. He leans on the doorframe and surveys the room, a force of habit.

"Everything alright?" Ferdinand asks him.

"Fine. I just came in to see if you were alright. You seemed rather distracted during the meeting."

Ferdinand manages a chuckle and a smile. Somehow the room feels brighter despite the sun having set over an hour ago. "My drills this morning were more brutal than I anticipated," he tells him. “Just a little back pain is all.”

The uneasy shifting in his chair and the drumming of his fingertips on the table in front of him at the meeting makes sense then. He watches as Ferdinand shifts himself once more so he is seated upright to address his ally properly. Hubert notices how he winces slightly in pain at said shift. 

His heart stops as he watches Ferdinand run his hand through his hair and pull it to one side. He fumbles to keep a level head as he sees, for the first time, Ferdinand fully shirtless in front of him and _oh_ what a fine man he is. Lean muscle is pulled taught over pale, freckled skin as he shifts and sits up straight. The light of the oil lamp on the bedside table casts an ethereal glow on him and Hubert notices an empty glass sitting atop a book. Ferdinand was never the tidiest person and Hubert supposes that will never change about him.

It is here that a particularly unsettling thought crosses his mind. It turns his stomach in both the best and worst ways possible. It makes him want to move closer and run far away all at the same time.

Ferdinand's smile changes into a smirk as he rests his hand on his cheek.

"You look as if you've seen a ghost, Hubert."

 _'A specter would have been easier to explain,'_ he thinks.

Hubert von Vestra is a seasoned assassin. He is the bridge between the outside world and Lady Edelgard and vice versa. He is trained to observe every single detail of his surroundings regardless of familiarity. It usually proves useful but now, as he feels his heart practically striking his ribs, he thinks otherwise. 

"Edelgard sent me to check on you. She noticed you seemed rather _off_ lately. Like your mind is elsewhere," he says. Immediately after those words leave his mouth, he scolds himself for sounding so daft but doesn’t let it show. 

"So she does worry about me," Ferdinand scoffs. "How comforting."

There's a silence between them, tense and uneasy, and awkward all the same but Hubert has no idea how to break it. The pain was not the only thing Ferdinand had on his mind. Hubert sees something in Ferdinand's eyes, gloaming and hostile but in a flash, it dissipates. The clouds part allowing bright amber to shine through in the oil lamp’s glow. 

"Say, Hubert," Ferdinand says and there's something rather mischievous behind his words. "I've noticed something recently."

"That would be?"

"That you and I have gotten closer in recent years. We've left our petty, schoolboy squabbles behind."

He notices Ferdinand’s words are slightly slurred, notes it, and moves on in the conversation.

"We have," Hubert agrees.

"Why do you think that is?"

"Well," Hubert begins, carefully selecting his next choice of words. "You and I have grown. You've taken up your position as Prime Minister and you fill the role exceedingly well. Dare I say, I respect you, Ferdinand."

His eyes are half-lidded and glassy and Hubert swears this conversation will be the death of him. He notices Ferdinand’s smirk, drinks in the sigh that leaves his lips like a fine aged whiskey. It burns with something primal, animalistic even but it goes down smooth. Whatever this damned trick is, Hubert will not fall for it. 

"Ah. Is that all?" His voice flitters through the air like the first warm breeze of spring. 

He's toying with him, Hubert knows this, he can feel it on his bones. However, he will never allow for someone other than him to pull the strings. It is simply too futile to let his guard down even with someone at such high standing as Ferdinand. The administration failed the crown once before and Hubert swears on the first Adrestian Emperor Wilhelm's grave that it will never happen again. 

"I haven't decided," Hubert says.

Ferdinand pats the edge of the bed next to him, enticing him to stay for a while. Against his better judgment, Hubert walks towards him and sits on the edge of the bed. Hubert expects the conversation to continue but it doesn’t.

Ferdinand instead grabs him roughly by the collar and kisses him. It's soft and gentle. He finds himself relaxing into it. He feels Ferdinand's hands wrap around his neck as he parts his lips. When Hubert tastes the remnants of cognac on his tongue, he pulls away abruptly. Before Ferdinand can protest as he fixes the blanket over his lap, Hubert stands and hurries back to his room. He barely remembers to close Ferdinand's door and his own.

He locks the deadbolt and retires for the evening.

The next morning, Ferdinand apologizes for being so brazen and unkempt. He swears up and down he will never drink cognac again.

*

Three days later it happens again. They're reviewing tactics on Ferdinand's bedroom floor late one night. They were forced by the maids to vacate the war room so they could clean. Papers litter the hardwood and Hubert swears his fountain pen is going to run dry before they finish. It is late, practically the middle of the night when Ferdinand asks him a question he never expects.

"What is your middle name?"

"Viktor," he replies casually. "Yours?"

"Alphonse. I've always hated it."

Hubert checks his notes and plans on the map so he has time to think of a reply.

"It has a good meaning behind it."

"Ferdinand Alphonse von Aegir. I always feel the flow of my name gets stuck on it."

"I suppose it does when you're proclaiming it in the middle of battle."

Ferdinand throws a crumpled piece of paper at him but misses.

"Terrible aim for a soldier to have."

"Only with projectiles. I could cut you down before you even think in the heat of battle."

Hubert smirks and places his papers down in front of him. "I'd like to see you try."

He opens his arms, welcoming whatever Ferdinand decides to throw at him next but he notices Ferdinand settle back down and glance at the map in front of him like nothing ever happened. He points something out about how their invasion plan of a minor fortress seems slightly awkward. Hubert looks at the markings on it and agrees.

“This would go a lot smoother if I had volunteered,” Ferdinand tells him. “I could have led a battalion through the main gate and split them in half about here.”

“You are needed here,” Hubert states.

“For what reason?”

That darkness he has seen with Ferdinand once before returns abruptly and seems to take all of the heat from the room with it. Hubert relishes in the chill it sends through him, basks in it like a python in the sun.

“You are the prime minister of the Adrestian Empire and soon to be that of the unified Fodlan. We cannot have you falling in a petty squabble or any battle for that matter.”

“I am more than willing to give my life for this cause, Hubert! I am not as daft as the lot of you make me out to be!”

“I never said you were daft, Ferdinand! I said you were far too valuable to the Empire to lose in a simple battle.”

“If it is such a simple battle and you are sure that barely-trained infantrymen can take the fort, then send me and my battalion. My men can save the numbers from making a fatal mistake and adding to the death toll.”

Hubert collects his things quietly. His patience is wearing far too thin at this hour. “Then take it up with Lady Edelgard in the morning. I do not make these decisions.”

Ferdinand stays quiet and still and lets Hubert collect his things. He stands as Hubert walks past him and catches him by the wrist.

“That was not directed at you. I apologize.”

“Save your breath.”

He drops his papers and attempts to pull away but Ferdinand has a grip like a vice on him. He looks at him and notes there is something awfully hollow about the way Ferdinand looks at him. Something numb about it. It does not suit him whatsoever. Joy and happiness and light are Ferdinand's domain. This darkness is not for him by any means.

Hubert attempts to pull his arm free once more but finds that Ferdinand has taken his nondominant hand and clutched it around his dress shirt. This overly emotional state is nothing like the Ferdinand he thought he knew and it terrifies him, blames it on the disgusting reality of war for changing him. There is something darker lying dormant under Ferdinand's golden exterior and it unnerves him so. 

"Ferdinand, " Hubert starts. He thinks hard about adding fuel to this fire but before he can manage to think of a proper statement he finds himself being pulled down roughly. Their lips crash together rather for a quick moment. Ferdinand's grip on his wrist falls and Hubert steps back.

"Ah-... I am sorry I do not-" Ferdinand says. He sighs, frustrated, and unable to string together proper thoughts. "Just kiss me."

Hubert does.

And for some God-forsaken reason, he finds himself melting into it.

He feels tension in his shoulders and neck give way as he places his hands on Ferdinand's hips, his grip firm but not too tight. He feels Ferdinand's arms come to rest on his shoulders, a hand tangles in his hair, pressing him closer. There is no hint of cognac on his tongue as it tangles with his own. In fact, there is a certain sweetness that lingers after Ferdinand pulls away, one of fresh peaches and strawberries. Hubert recalls the cup of tea Ferdinand was drinking.

"Southern fruit blend?" He asks.

Ferdinand chuckles somewhat nervously. "Well, yes, " he says with a smile. "It is my favorite.

Hubert doesn't hesitate to kiss him again. Something deep within Hubert wants to see that the darker side of Ferdinand returns full force. He's had a taste of it, literally and figuratively, and now he needs more. He pulls back.

"So what truly has been on your mind then?" He asks.

"I ended up looking at the death toll a few days back after I received a letter from a grieving widow. I made a rather terrifying-looking infantryman cry in my drills this morning when he wasn't taking me seriously. On top of petitions and budgets, I have certain personal matters that I have been avoiding that now need dealing with."

However interesting prodding at those personal matters may be, one thing sticks out. "You made a man cry?"

"Unfortunately."

"There is a story behind that one and I'd like to hear it."

"He's the bastard son of some defunct noble house. I cannot remember his name for the life of me but he had the audacity to say that I am too pretty for war. He didn't take my following diatribe kindly, threw a punch at me and I threw him off his feet rather abruptly. Said some awful things in the process."

Ferdinand wriggles free of Hubert's hold and begins to collect the remnants of their plans so he can present them to the other officers in the morning.

"Point him out to me. I'll have him fired."

"I do not think that will be necessary, Hubert. I horrified him enough. Either he will leave on his own or he will straighten out and take me seriously from now on."

"If you still need someone to straighten him out forcibly, you know where to find me."

Hubert collects his own papers and bids him goodnight with one final kiss.

In the meeting the next morning, Ferdinand changes the plans they had gone over the night before and instead suggests he go capture the fort with his own battalion. Lady Edelgard agrees. He returns a week later, victorious with no casualties or fatal injuries among his men. Hubert stands next to his lady when he gives her the announcement personally, he almost feels proud.

_Almost._

*

In 1185 the professor returns to the monastery. With her, she brings the sword of the creator and seals their victory. They rejoice in her homecoming and welcome her back with open arms.

Hubert is just returning from the marketplace when he is stopped by the sight of Ferdinand on the main path through the monastery. He catches a glimpse of General Aegir walking with some politicians on his coattails. He speaks of some policy that Hubert knows virtually nothing about. Nevertheless, Hubert politely takes Ferdinand’s attention to hand him a wax-sealed envelope addressed to him. He doesn’t say a word but he knows what it is without opening it. He thanks Hubert with a smile and continues his walk.

Hubert’s stone heart has started to crack and give way and it is all that man’s fault. He simply hasn’t decided whether or not to hate him for it.

Hubert enters the audience chamber on the second floor and turns left into the office there. Thankfully, the only soul in sight is Lady Edelgard. He places his leather messenger bag down in front of her and out of it produces a bottle of champagne. It is nothing like they had access to in Enbarr but it is something.

“What are we celebrating today?” She asks him.

“Not sure,” he replies. “Finalizing the plans for the invasion of the Taltean Plains, perhaps?”

She puts down her pen and reaches for the bottle. “Good enough reason for me.”

They uncork the bottle with smiles on their faces and pour themselves tall glasses. There is no more work that needs immediate tending to. They were simply getting ahead of their tasks for the next day anyway. They clink their glasses together and take a sip. It's bubbly and sweet, far from Hubert's preferences.

Lady Edelgard places her glass down on the desk in front of her and looks over at him with a smirk. Hubert knows that smirk far too well and fears what she has to say next.

"So," she begins. "I've been thinking-"

"That's never a good thing," Hubert interrupts.

"About something Ferdinand let slip the other day."

"And what would that be exactly." Hubert places his glass next to hers and takes over the chair she vacated. Edelgard, in turn, sits on the desk.

"You've been writing him love letters, Hubert."

"I have not."

"You absolutely have!" She laughs. "He told me you paid him a compliment once when you two were having tea together and that it sounded so off coming from you that-"

"He told me it reminded him of 'a snake singing an aria' if I remember correctly.'

"That he told you to put it in a letter next time."

"That is true."

"It's been three months, Hubert."

"Your point?"

"You've been writing Ferdinand von Aegir, the man you and I used to avoid like the plague when we were kids and swore you hated with every fiber of your being, love letters."

"They are not love letters, El."

"Using my nickname won't stop me, let me finish." She takes another, longer drink from her glass and successfully drinks half of it in the process. "As I was saying. I think this might be worth pursuing for you. I don't think I've ever seen you so-"

"Confused?"

"Relaxed, Hubert."

He thinks in silence for a moment, debates heavily on the possibility she presents him. He trusts her opinion wholeheartedly. After all, she has known him the longest and proven herself to be a trusted friend in every regard.

"I hardly think that he would ever be interested."

"So you are then."

"I'm not entirely sure yet."

She rolls her eyes and finishes her glass before she pours herself another. Hubert thinks this is worth pursuing, even for a night. So when the bottle is finished and the edge of his stresses are relieved, he finds himself walking with his lady towards the dormitories. As he bids her good night, he thinks again that he should say something to Ferdinand, ask him if he read the letter or something but Hubert knows he is not good with romantic gestures of any kind. He unlocks his bedroom door and steps inside to find a wax-sealed envelope at his feet that is addressed to him.

He knows the pristine penmanship at first glance. He opens the letter without hesitation, feeling slightly giddy, and reads the words on the page over and over but only one phrase burns itself into his consciousness.

Hubert practically runs from his room and knocks on the door two down from his own when Ferdinand answers, he lets him inside and closes the door behind him.

Hubert will never properly remember the exchange they had, nor will he remember what led to the frenzy of kisses they shared but he will always remember the first moment he allowed himself to be vulnerable to this man.

He allows himself to come unraveled at the words Ferdinand says, a rather botched confession, and to be unkempt for an hour or two when Ferdinand convinces him out of his clothes and into his bed. He commits every second of their evening together to memory and locks it safely away. Every touch, every caress, and every sigh. 

When Hubert sits up and attempts to leave after all is said and done, Ferdinand convinces him to stay until morning. He does. And the sight of Ferdinand on the edge of sleep in the glow of the early morning sets his chest on fire. Hubert holds him close and kisses his face as he wakes with a smile. He allows himself to be soft and tender, something Hubert von Vestra never does.

The next week, the Immaculate One falls and the war ends.

*

Hubert expects Ferdinand to leave his side shortly after the war is won. Hubert von Vestra is no man for romance and the like but if nothing else, Ferdinand is persistent.

Hubert feels as if he is being made softer by this man who lays close to him every night. His blade is far duller than it was before, his armor is cracking and Hubert feels that he is falling apart.

He stands in front of Ferdinand and hears the words “You are beautiful” fall from his lips. He freezes and tries not to let any form of hesitation show and if Ferdinand von Aegir notices, he never says anything.

Hubert von Vestra is not beautiful, he is a seasoned assassin with sorcery engineers that will throw themselves in front of any danger presented. They will paint the walls red with their blood before they admit failure.

Yet, Hubert knows he’s losing but he doesn’t know what yet.

Love is something terrifying, something so unfamiliar that Hubert wants nothing more than to run far away from the entirety of Enbarr and the Aegir estate where he’s found himself living. However when Ferdinand coaxes him to bed while half asleep himself Hubert finds his feet carrying him. He falls asleep quickly and stays asleep for longer than he ever has in his life.

This peace that comes with Ferdinand is far too hallowed. Hubert finds himself begging to be released from the gates of heaven. He wanted this but not anymore. Domestic life was never for him. The heir of house Vestra has remained unmarried and only taking a consort to produce an heir when the time arises for generations. Why break that now?

When he walks in the door of the Aegir manner in the middle of the night he tosses with the idea of fully breaking things off but the thought of making Ferdinand, such a divine being, cry breaks his heart more. He walks up the stairs and turns left to the western wing of the mansion and finds that there is no Ferdinand to welcome him home tonight.

It is far too quiet. There are no maids cleaning up specks of dust and dirt in the corners, no absent-minded humming drifting through the halls.

Hubert notes this but doesn’t think much of it as he continues walking towards their bedroom at the end of the hall. He opens the door to find nothing though. The sheets are made and the curtains are drawn shut. Hubert places his bag at the door and scans the room once more to find there is no trace of Ferdinand having been there whatsoever.

Calling out for him would be useless. It would only wake the entirety of the staff so Hubert turns out of their bedroom and glances down the hallway to find a flickering light coming out of one of the rooms in the eastern wing. Hubert believes that this is the next logical place for him to look and finds himself successful. As he walks towards the light he is filled with a sense of impending dread and devastation. He knows what room this is and why Ferdinand has not gone inside since he became the Prime Minister.

At first glance he finds Ferdinand seated behind the desk, head in his hands. He sees an open book in front of him, well-worn and bound in leather, a journal of some sort.

Hubert knocks on the doorframe before he enters, making sure that his footsteps make noise as he does so.

“Ferdinand?”

The man does not look up. He does not move.

“Love?”

Hubert approaches the desk carefully and places a hand on Ferdinand’s shoulder. As he glances down at the book in front of him he knows exactly what it is. Without further hesitation, he closes the book and swivels the desk chair to face him. He kneels in front of Ferdinand and pulls him into his arms.

It is here that Ferdinand breaks. He sobs into Hubert’s shoulder and falls off of the chair and onto the floor. The only words he stutters are “he knew” and “how dare he”.

Hubert thinks of asking but lets Ferdinand calm himself down as he holds him close, grip firm but not too tight. It seems like ages before Ferdinand’s cries have stifled themselves and he wipes furiously at his eyes with the backs of his hands. Hubert offers him his own handkerchief which he readily accepts.

“I wanted to clean his study out, make it usable for me to work from home some days,” Ferdinand chokes out. “But I found his journals-”

He is cut off by tears that he tries so hard to hold back.

“You don’t have to say anything more,” Hubert assures him.

“There was one night when we were students where I was in the training grounds in the middle of the night.”

Hubert remembers it well but never questioned the reasons why he was there so late or why he acted so strangely.

“I received word that my mother had gone missing-...” More tears, more cries that take time to calm. “He knew about the experiments performed on Edelgard. My mother was-”

Hubert feels a pain in his chest. He has heard of the awful things that those who slither do to people, innocent people who had no business being tangled in their messy affairs to begin with.

“He let them take my mother.”

Hubert holds him tighter for a few more moments before he stands him up and fixes his clothing. He brushes a stray lock of hair behind his ear and takes his hand to guide him from that godforsaken room and down the hall to their bedroom. He helps Ferdinand shed his dress clothing and places it aside, on the back of a chair in the corner. He sits him down on the edge of the bed and kneels in front of him. He takes his gloves off and places them on the floor beside him so he can take Ferdinand’s hands in his own.

“Ferdinand, look at me,” he tells him. “You are so much more than your father’s son.”

“I know,” he whispers, tears threatening to rise up and spill over once more.

“You are not the monster that he was.”

“And you are not the monster that you once were, Hubert,” he says. “I have noticed it- that hesitation when I welcome you home, that slight pause when-”

“Ferdinand.”

The room falls silent and time seems to slow. Hubert lets go of Ferdinand’s hands for a second to start a fire in the fireplace with a snap of his fingers. He rises and sits next to Ferdinand on the edge of the bed. The crackling of the wood fills the silence somewhat but it fails to raise any of this godforsaken tension.

“You are going to tell me that I am thinking irrationally but Hubert, I’ve noticed something different about you.”

“No, you’re right,” Hubert sighs. He places an arm around Ferdinand and pulls him close. “I have not been the lover that you deserve and I don’t believe that I ever will be.”

Ferdinand shifts his position and pulls Hubert onto him. He has a grip like a vice on his shirt that threatens to never let go. This moment seems oddly sacred, a moment frozen in time where Hubert finally feels welcome. He adores and abhors it all at once.

“I love you too much to let you go now.”

Those words seem to sear him, burn down to his bones. Hubert feels guilty and awfully so.

With a slight shift of his position, he holds for dear life onto Ferdinand and with three words that seem to carry the weight of the world, he promises that he will stay.

And he does.

It takes so much time to repair and rebuild but many fights and tear-filled midnights later, they do. Hubert learns to love his ‘welcome home’ kisses. He learns, with Ferdinand as his guide, to love properly. Though he never learns how to take a compliment. 

*

In the Imperial Year 1187, they are married with their close friends as witnesses. They are the first couple in the Empire to do so. So-called ‘torchbearers’ as Emperor Edelgard put it.

As Hubert stands in the palace gardens, he catches a glimpse of Ferdinand walking towards him amidst the summer flowers and has to turn around to keep his composure. He notices the way Edelgard smiles in front of him. It was a promise that they shared that is she ever ended up married, Hubert would be the one to walk her down the aisle. It was only her end of the bargain that she would officiate his ceremony.

“You are so going to cry,” she says. He notices the tears that begin to fill her own eyes.

When he feels Ferdinand’s hand rest lightly on his shoulder, he turns to take him by the arm, and then by the hand. He looks at the man that stands before him, hair perfectly curled and pinned half up, half down with flowers decorating some pieces. Hubert von Vestra can no longer hide the smile on his face. He can no longer deny that he truly belongs in this nirvana that Ferdinand carries with him so well. 

For better and for worse they promise, knowing full well that the worst has already passed.

Hubert has seen it, the darkness that accompanies Ferdinand around the same time of year, marking another year without his mother. He has felt it in his own heart when he has to pull the man out of bed in the morning and practically throw him out the door. He has calmed it when emotions are far too much and all Ferdinand has the energy to do is cry. He knows that even the brightest sunshine comes with the night and even the night sky has stars to break up the darkness.

My, how beautiful the light could be.

It is warm and loving and rather romantic. Hubert von Vestra was never one for romance or anything of the sort but once Ferdinand waltzed into his life, there was no turning back for him. 

Yes, maybe there is salvation for the darkest of the damned.

They kiss for the first time as a married couple. With that kiss, they break social boundaries and tear down painfully outdated traditions but none of that matters to them. They have what both craved. They give what is theirs to give and vow to support and love and adore each other for the rest of their days however long that may be.

That night, after their friends have bid them the best wishes, they walk home under the lantern light through the streets of Enbarr. They walk arm in arm and Hubert listens to every word Ferdinand says and commits it to memory; every laugh, every smile, every single word.

When they arrive at their home, the now Aegir-Vestra manner, Hubert stops Ferdinand, he pulls him in close. He presses their foreheads together and kisses him softly. When he pulls away he smiles.

“Ferdinand von Aegir-Vestra,” Hubert starts. “Have I ever told you just how much I absolutely adore you?”

“Yes, but tell me again,” he replies with a smile bright as the midday sun.


End file.
